I just got off the phone after my first Coaching Call with Ron Helman and I am SO excited!
We began by generally catching up, and I told him about the new MAC computer I was going to buy today and he asked me "What does this purchase mean" to me? I said - FREEDOM! I am presently borrowing a laptop - that I can't take out of the country and I am using a desk top where I am staying. This way, with my own laptop - one with easy wireless connection - I can move about - here, there and every where! He then asked, "How does this align with my goals?" I replied that I want to be able to work where ever I am... Continuing my path to be open to where ever learning takes me.
He also, asked me what I hoped to achieve with this freedom, and I said, "self sufficiency". Hmm... he asked me what the difference was, again - to me - between this and "Independence"? Ooo... GOT IT.
The term SELF sufficiency implies - on my own - isolated. It appears that I have confused "Independence" with "codependent". He clarified that INDEPENDENCE has more of an OPEN posturing, having me allow my community to make contributions to my needs and wellness. To date, I have been lovingly supported by friends - emotionally and tangibly through house-sitting. I have certainly been thankful but not without some guilt or sense of obligation.
I think this was triggered when one of my gal pals said, "I know what your problem is... (Don't you love when someone says that) You just don't want to grow up." Hmm... that hurt, probably because there was some truth there. Tapping into my childhood fantasy of accepting an award at the Oscars is one of those long term goals. So if that makes me immature - so be it... I know plenty of individuals who are not INSPIRED by their "adult" lives.
Picasso said, "It took me four years to paint like Raphael, but a lifetime to paint like a child." I have certainly had responsible moments in my life - so I choose not to accept that limiting label, but for now I am open to accepting support in whatever form it comes, to explore my potential.
Ron and I also talked briefly about my challenge with perfectionism and he asked if we needed to work on that. I was surprised at my response... when I heard myself say, "No". I explained that I had put some structures in place - my commitment to Blog every day as an example, which forces me to GET OVER MYSELF and to complete things rather than get bogged down in making it perfect. I have always had the rule: If I can't do it well, don't do it at all... Which has stopped me more than oh... a thousand times. My new rule is - as far as writing goes - Let someone else do the editing, so I can focus on what I am good at, content!
We then focused on my strengths... Ron said, that "strengths grow, weaknesses don't" so, "why would you put energy towards what doesn't move you forward?" I liked that. So we talked about my ENERGY and immense POTENTIAL, strengths that will make anything possible for me when I get clear, really CLEAR about what I wanted in my life.
He referred to an interview he saw on CNN where Fareed Zakaria and Henry Kissinger spoke about what advice he would give the new Government Administration, whomever that may be, in January. Kissinger said, "They should ask themselves, what kind of world do they want in DETAIL at the end of 4 years. Not in slogans or in general objectives." Nice... So one of my exercises for next week is to take the goals I wrote down in the first post and get really specific!
We talked about giving up my past career as a Property Manager and after my story telling he made me stop and acknowledge that my VALUE to the company was understood and to know that if this was present there, it could be present anywhere. So... whenever I get overwhelmed by the fear of the leap I am taking that I should, as Eckhart Tolle has expressed, "Starve the Negative Feed and Focus on my Highest/Best Self rather than the Pain Body".
We also chatted about PASSION, which he defined as "something you would do - even if you were not paid to do it". For him it is Coaching and playing Jazz... For me it is writing. I am clear about that now - heck, I'm not being paid to write at the moment but I am sitting here plunking away, putting it out there for all the world to read!
- I would awake to a sunny clear day...
- I would go to Cafe Artigiano, order a 12oz Soy Latte and a Pain du Chocolate, pause in the pleasure of people watching and be joined by one of my incredibly talented friends. I love creative energy I find it inspiring!
- I would then go to my office - with a view - and focus, be really productive writing, until about 4pm.
- I would then bike to 2nd Beach for a Swim and a Stretch then make my way home to have a long luxurious shower - with a friend.
- Later we would make our way to a patio to join a group for drinks, food and good conversation. At present my neighborhood is Commercial Drive - which is perfect.
- We come home and lay in each others arms under the stars of my sky light, making plans for the future I am living into - in Kauai.
- C'est Fini.
We concluded with making arrangements for our next call and set up a payment schedule. How much does this cost you ask? $400 a month which includes 3 - 45 minute calls with a 3 month commitment. Pricey?! Not if you think this is almost what I have spent in the past at Starbucks OR only half the price of the trainer I hired a few years ago OR the price of one Landmark Course OR I shudder to admit - what I have paid for a pair of shoes!
True, I am on a budget now but here's the thing I have stopped my extravagant expenditures and I can make do without a Vespa (something I am presently coveting) because more importantly...
I am willing to INVEST in my future.
I am willing to be a STAND for an extraordinary existence.
I am willing to be in ACTION to achieve it.
So, like any successful athlete - I will benefit from an experienced Coach whose soul intention is for me to be successful which in turn makes him a success! Stay tuned... xo P.
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